S
tealth Dadzoning in
avoiding his combat
by 98 degrees below
the sound barrier
We're all aware
that the radar
has been effected
and we're affected
by his inability
to lock on
Mark the Target
Bomb us all
with pity
So sad for you
that stealthing
has become
a way of life
Even sweet peas
blossoming
have no impact
When the pilot
has finally landed
and our scanning the skies
subsides
What oily residue
traces itself
around
our silouettes
Make clear the runway........
Dad...............
and goodluck
August 2000
Well he's done it again! It's been seven years since I wrote this little muse to my father, and his pathetic attempts at non-visiting when he has been on our side of the continent. This poem was written in Richmond, B.C., my dad visiting us in BC after being in Belize, Ontario and Scotland. It had been years since seeing him last. He spent approximately two hours with us and the kids, who wondered how this unknown figure in their lives could actually be my father. Well after he left from this visit out poured "Stealth Dad". I haven't seen him since because he moved to Scotland and I moved to Ontario. Turns out dad is going to visit Ontario the first week of april. I thought great and wrote him that I have lots of vacation time to use in april, they can stay at a local hotel and we can spend time together. The old man (Anglican Priest I may add) writes me back tonight saying I am mistaken with the time he will be in Ontario, and he wanted to squeeze me and his grandchildren into a two hour visit, of which I would have to drive at night into Toronto.
I wrote him back tonight and said I really thought myself and his grandchildren would have meant more to him than wedging in a two hour visit at the end of his week in Ontario. I wished him a good trip...........just when I think I can't be stung.........
my lovely son tells me I have mid-life angst, yikes!
10 comments:
I don't think i'm ever going to be able to grasp the absolute insensitivity of this man. I'm sorry mom.
well put u3l. We are all sorry for your mom and the pitiful dad she has to deal with
Hey there is a spin off here - you looked inside yourself and knew you deserved better and refused the crumbs - good for you. You DO deserve respect and admiration for holding out the olive branch this long.Its not ideal and we always mourn the relationship that we felt entitled to but the rest of us have certainly benefited and feel blessed by your being here.You can only feel sorry for the man - he has missed out on so much ---so a pox on him as they use to say.
You are loved Tinker Bell. MG
An added thought Tink - he probably could not handle a longer visit - I would think. at the back of his mind, would always be the thought that the "WHY" question might be brought up and of course he does not seem to want to deal with that issue - even if it meant giving you peace.
Sometimes there are'nt good endings to a relationship no matter how much we want it - if you can - let it go -close the book and get hugs from people who care about you. luv MG
Shit. That stinks. What a prick. And I mean that with all due respect to the Anglican church and to god and...
Sorry to hear about that Barb.
Wow,
all of you are so loving and kind and considerate.....and have helped me....thank you
Dad wrote back and so did my step mother, who told me not to "dump" on them right now because she is really depressed etc etc.....Dad said I could join him for a church service and lunch.....
I haven't responded yet because I will think about all that you have said to me, and where to go from here with honour for myself and my children.
Love Tink
Who the fuck isn't depressed. It's not dumping. JESUS. I don't know what you should do...to me it seems like "oh we're doing these things anyway..Barbara might as well tag along to get that out of the way." It doesn't seem like he's making a big effort to come to us or go out of his way to be a part of our life. It's more like if you want to see me you can fit yourself into MY schedule, but I really don't know what the right thing to do is at the moment. :/
"Who the fuck isn't depressed?!" That would make an amazing name for a blog, or a band. I love it alot.
You guys are fantastic..........
so after discussion with J and K (the young women who wrote the famous saying....who the hell isn't depressed)...we came to the conclusion that we are not putting ourselves out to mingle with the rellys in toronto, but it they want to bother themselves to see us they are invited for lunch at our place. That's all folks
time to listen to Mamma G and let go of this unrequited luv
Love you all
Me
Latest update regarding Stealth Dad
(oh yaah I also call him Darth Vader because he used to always wear this big black long cape) Anyways, they apparently do want to spend some time so they have rearranged some plans to come out here for half a day. My brother James is actually going to fly up from New York to see them (his own ghosts haunt him too)
So we'll see. It felt great to take a stand though and tell them we would only see them on our terms.
Thanks again for everyone's support.
Tink
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