Dads

My dad
placed me on his shoulders
when I was just perhaps
age 6 or 8

already a certain
distrust
a certain
distain for his authority
although I really did
want to respect him

I decided at this vulnerable age
it was time to
give him my inner essence
a certain liquid that
generally was not
a gift
but

Here I am age
40ish or whatever
and I feel an empathy
an understanding
an okness
that certainly is new

I'm willing to greet Daddy
at a whole new level
one of equality
cause that's what we are
no fear
no anger
no hurt
no pain
no sense of absence

and if there is absence
I can accept this
because my own
beautiful two
babies are
here

I just hope
I've never
scared them

I don't think so
somehow
because I've always been
aware of
my past

and their future

and their Daddy
has never
hurt
nor abandoned
nor close circuited
nor attempted
to wound

maybe at times
his own messed upness
but he always came
back to them triple
fold
and he always will

thank you
lovely Daddy to
our children

in love and peace

Fathers Day
June 2007

Eventual Horizon

Eventually the horizon
was covered in mist
when linear meets horizontal
and mystery becomes known
and the unknown continues
to mystify me
pace by pace
the search has slowed

He looked at me
and referred with ambiguity
to my own once
expressed thoughts
I am forced to guess

Eventually the mist cleared
I spoke of love
once long ago
It must have had an impact
on him
one of concern
but not of warmth
not of connection

This word made the scissors
come out of the drawer
and he cut
me away
and I'm gone....................

Remember love is
a gift old
friend

November 1, 2003

I ask myself have I ever spoken of love in vain...............?